Early Morning Post and a Baby

Reasons for this Early Morning Post (I have been up since 6 am):

1. Weird dreams: including but not limited to Harry Potter, Michael Vick, a dwarf, my job as a camp counselor and working at Southern Seasons making chocolate covered espresso beans.
2. Uncomfortable.
3. Urinating every hour.
4. Husband up early to go to the pool.
5. Hot--I compromised and turned the AC up to 74-now I sweat when I sleep.
6. Cramping--can't tell if it's contractions, gas or baby trying to move.
7. Last but not least--my anxiety--my body is T-I-R-E-D but my mind is acting as if I drank a million espressos and washed them down with some speed.

Anywhoo.....
Charlie isn't here yet but I can't wait. I have had a few rough days as far as "my job" is concerned. Being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) is NOT easy. I have wanted to quit, but I guess everyone wants to quit their jobs every once in a while, right?! I think Sam has figured out that something big is going to happen soon. He is very clingy and VERY indecisive but he is 23 months old. He completely ripped apart One Fish, Two Fish Red Fish, Blue Fish yesterday in his crib because he was pissed. He was supposed to be sleeping :) AHHH, my angel!

I am also 200 lbs and can't really heave him around anymore. Poor guy just bounces right off my boobs! It is even getting difficult to read to him because he really doesn't have a lap to sit on any more--I have to cram him on top of a throw pillow and pray that he doesn't topple over the edge of the chair!

I am having a little bit of anxiety about how his life is going to change once little Charlie comes home. Sam is my little boy and will always be my baby. I can understand how my mom has a special place for Anna in her heart. Most days I am so thrilled that he is happy, growing and healthy but there are other days where I miss my little baby. I guess every mom has those days! I am overjoyed when he learns new things or can say new words--I even got a little chuckle when he said, "Mama" and I said "yes baby" and he said "fat". I'll take it, with a grain of salt I guess! He is such a joy and I hope that by having another it will only enrich his life experiences and not totally destroy his little world!

If you see me weeping or if I call you weeping--just give me a shoulder to cry on and PROMISE me that it will pass!

On a high note--I am actually having a real live baby shower tomorrow. Now, to be fair, Krissy did put together a "shower" for Sam and it was delightful....It was very much like a wine and cheese party that I got to open gifts at :) I am very grateful that she did this for me so don't think I am disregarding it--but Amy and Eli thought that I should have a baby shower--you know with games and goofy girlie stuff like that! I had missed my shower by a week with Sam that Andrea did a great job of planning! So I am very excited that Mr. Charlie has not made an appearance yet (as I bite my tongue, he'll probably want to come tomorrow morning). So thanks girls for making it special! Can't wait to see everyone before I go into hibernation for the winter!